i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
did i just pee glitter
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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