His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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