I looked at my own cervix.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Randomize
