Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize