If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize