turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
