I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize