She just used a chaser for red wine.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
