yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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