Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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