She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
