she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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