Welp...herpes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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