..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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