no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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