It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
