just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
