Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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