I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
