She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
