Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
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