the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
