Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
