I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize