Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
