just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
