Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
