No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
