Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im six kinds of drunk right now
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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