Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
