Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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