You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
