brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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