I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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