Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
