Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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