in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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