We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
