i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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