I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
