thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
