just come out here and I will go home with you...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
