Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
