i think my tv is drunk
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
