Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
