Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
