Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
