Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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