Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
