i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
