Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
