All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
