I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
