yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
