i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Boobs are out for the taking
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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