I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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