1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize