I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
