the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
