Nicole vs. Life
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize