i just had sex bonerless
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
