I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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