you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
