I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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