Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
