I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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