it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
