Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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