I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
