I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
