carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
