I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
