Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
